


Mary and Glady's Culinary Adventures

by whateverdude



Series: Culinary Adventures [1]
Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: F/M, Food, Fun, M/M, Parody, so much food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whateverdude/pseuds/whateverdude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William "Glady" Gladstone prepares a special day with lots of food for his girlfriend, Mary. However, much drama ensues, including famous actors, secret agents and confusion. Will Mary and Glady find happiness in the end?<br/>PARODY FIC not meant to be realistic, it's a fun bit of writing with some puns, terrible pet names and loads of food.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breakfast

It was a beautiful morning when Mary and Glady awoke in the middle of the library. The sun had just risen and was shining through the window, illuminating the stunning, handcarved wooden floor. Luckily, the library had not opened yet so no one could see them. And what a state they were in! 

Having stayed up all night reading in their onesies, their hair was very messy and Glady’s back made worrying noises when he moved too much. 

Glady clapped his hands and out of nowhere, three handsome men appeared. One immediately started massaging Glady’s back, one tidied up and put all the books back on their shelves and the third helped Mary up and led her to a room just outside of the library room. 

“Oh pray tell me why it is you escorting me and not my lovely Glady”, Mary cried when she realised that Glady had stayed behind in the library. 

“Do not worry, miss”, the guy replied. “Sire has instructed me to help you get ready and he will await your return on the balcony.” 

He opened the door and showed Mary what looked like a miniature beauty parlour. 

She stepped inside and gasped. “This is amazing, I never knew there was so much to explore in this library!”

“We also have a hidden swimming pool somewhere, but no one has managed to find it yet”, the guy commented. “But I am sure that Sire would prefer not waiting too long for your, so please put this on so I can start.” 

He held out a beautiful flowy summer skirt and a blue shirt with an owl print, which Mary took and changed into quickly before sitting down in a very comfy chair in front of the giant mirror.

The guy immediately started brushing her hair and used a soft washcloth to gently wash her face, before quickly but expertly applying some light makeup. Only ten minutes later Mary was led to a small but cozy balcony where Glady was waiting for her. 

He smiled as brightly as the sun that was hidden behind a BB8-Star Wars umbrella so that the table covered with a rainbow coloured tablecloth was completely in the shade. 

“Good morning, beloved Mary!” He said. “Please join me for breakfast!” 

Mary giggled. “Of course I will, my love!”  
Glady and Mary sat down and a very small guy came outside carrying a tray with a TARDIS tea pot and two mugs bearing the costumes of two doctors. 

“Oh wow, Glady, you really know how to charm a girl!” Mary beamed. In this moment, however, the small guy tripped over an invisible snake on the floor and the tea pot fell over and spilt its entire contents on the beautiful tablecloth. 

“Oh no!” Mary and Glady cried in unison and jumped to their feet because neither wanted to get tea on their beautiful clothes. 

“I am so so sorry!” the small guy literally cried out and ran back inside. Immediately, one of the handsome guys from earlier appeared with a new tablecloth and exchanged it with the now tea stained one. He also took the tea pot and came back five seconds later with it, now once more full of delicious smelling tea. 

Glady smiled sheepishly. “I am sorry, Mary, I wanted this to be perfect!” 

Mary took his hand. “Oh but it is perfect, my lovebug. This was so much fun and at least it did not happen to me! Come, let us sit down and have breakfast, I am starving!”

As if on cue, the doors opened and a small army of handsome guys came out, carrying various plates and bowls and serving trays, all of which they sat down on the table and left as quickly as they had come. “Let us eat!” Glady announced and handed Mary one of the plates. 

On it, a sausage and two eggs lay in a beautiful shape that made Mary blush. “Glady, you did not have to do that for me!” 

“Of course I did, I would do everything for you!” Glady winked and then they ate. 

Glady had truly thought of everything, and in the privacy of the small but cozy balcony, they enjoyed their full English breakfast. There were about 9 different kinds of eggs, perfectly brown hash browns, many more thick, sizzling sausages and giant mushrooms. 

Mary was so full that she did not have room for the delicious smelling haggis, the tomatoes, the strawberries and the porridge but she thought to herself that she could just try those things the next day.

When they were finished, Glady took Mary’s hand. “Just be prepared, my lovelace, I have the most marvellous day planned out for us!” 

“Whatever could you mean by that, my loveheart?” Mary asked curiously. 

“Just you wait, my lovelove, you will be the happiest person alive by the end of it. Well, maybe not the happiest, because I am sure that after a full day with you, I will be the happiest, but I shall strive to make you the second happiest!” Glady announced proudly and then he led her back inside the beautiful building.


	2. Second Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since one breakfast clearly is not enough, Glady prepares an apple-themed second breakfast for Mary - but a clumsy waiter threatens to ruin the happy mood...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, this is totally fictional and not meant to be in any way close to reality - it is also deliberately bad & over the top cheesy^^

After a short walk inside the building, which included elegantly walking down the beautiful but giant staircase into the entrance hall, Mary and Glady passed a security guard who nodded slightly at Glady. Glady nodded back and the security guard disappeared behind a door in the wall which Mary had not noticed before. 

“What did that mean, my pear?” Mary asked, confused. 

“Do not worry, my pineapple, it was just a sign to inform me that our next surprise is ready!” Glady smiled and then led her to a small door. 

They walked through a small corridor lit by ancient torches made out of gold and silver. 

“I feel just like in Hogwarts!” Mary giggled. 

“Just you wait, my cherry!” Glady announced and then they were at the end of the corridor, which opened into a magnificent garden. There were flowers everywhere, and bumblebees hummed and butterflies flew and birds sang and it was incredibly romantic and serene.

“This is new,” Mary remarked, “I did not even know such a garden existed!” 

“Yes, it is rather well hidden. I had it made specifically for today and I must say that I organized everything perfectly.” Glady’s breast swelled and he looked onto the garden proudly. “I do hope you will like it, my banana, it is yours!”

“Oh Glady,” Mary cried. “This is beautiful, thank you so much, I honestly do not know how I deserve so much beauty!” 

“No,” Glady said earnestly and took her hands. “This garden does not deserve you since it is so much less beautiful than you!”

Mary blushed and quickly looked around for a distraction. However, she did not have to look for longs since Glady suddenly started sneezing. 

“Oh my blueberry, what is wrong?” Mary took a handkerchief out of her skirt pocket, which she had not noticed before but which came in handy at this exact moment. 

“Nothing, nothing, do not worry about me,” Glady said in between sneezes, “it is just my allergies. Some of those flowers tickle my nose but I will endure it because they looked so beautiful and I wanted to give you the best.” 

“You truly are the best boyfriend ever!” Mary dabbed his nose with her handkerchief and then they made their way through the garden. 

When they rounded the corner of a giant rose plantation, they suddenly stood on the edge of a small pond. Under a huge apple tree laden with apples stood a red table in the shape of an apple, and two chairs that also looked like apples just with a bite taken out of them. 

“Let me guess, we shall have an apple themed meal now!” Mary laughed a bit. 

Glady suddenly looked sad. “Oh no, you guessed it, now the surprise is ruined!” 

“No, no, my watermelon, it is still a wonderful surprise and I am very much looking forward to it, I do love apples so much!” Mary squeezed his arm and led him to the table, making a point of ooh-ing and ahh-ing to make Glady feel better. 

And of course he did have another surprise planned for their food was brought in an apple-shaped crate by a diver in an apple costume appearing out of the small pond. At that Mary laughed and was very happy, which in turn made Glady very happy and they had an incredibly good meal with only occasional sneezes by Glady. 

There were apple pancakes, apple muffins, apple pie, apple juice and almost unripe apple slices; paired with freshly pressed apple juice. Towards the end of the meal, their bottle of apple juice went empty since they had had so much of it, and Glady clapped his hands. 

From behind the tree, the clumsy small waiter from breakfast appeared with another bottle and placed it on the table without mishaps. On the way back, however, the unfortunate waiter tripped over a root and in the next moment, he was lying on the floor, humiliated and writhing in pain since he was a man and could not take pain very well. 

Immediately, a security guard showed up, helped him up and led him away. Mary and Glady looked at them with worrying looks but then continued with their meal. A couple of minutes later, the security guard returned with a heavy frown and when he leaned down to Glady and whispered something in his ear, the frown was mirrored on Glady’s face. 

He dismissed the guard with a wave and then turned to Mary. 

“I am so sorry that you have to witness this, my peach. I do not want to keep secrets from you and therefore I am going to tell you. It is good that you are already sitting since this might come as a shock for you.”

Mary took Glady’s hand, seeing as he himself seemed very shocked and distraught. Glady squeezed her hand and it did seem to calm him down for he took a deep breath and said in a steady voice, 

“Our beloved waiter has just quit. He will not be able to serve us anymore on this beautiful day.” 

“Oh no, that is so sad, I had just started to like him!” Mary cried but remained calm. “Do not worry, my orange, you will find the perfect replacement for him. I know you will, you can do anything!”

“Oh, my mango, your confidence is all I need. I shall tell my secretaries to start looking at once, maybe this day can still be salvaged!” The frown on Glady’s face disappeared and he looked happier. 

Seeing as they were already finished with their meal, Glady pushed his apple chair back and offered his hand to Mary to help her up. 

“I do hope this development did not destroy the mood. I have so much more planned, this second breakfast was just a preparation for what comes next!” He announced proudly. 

“I cannot wait to see what your brilliant mind came up with!” Mary smiled and then gasped as her gaze fell upon the white horse carriage waiting for them. 

“Oh strawberry, are we riding in this?” Only her manners prevented her from jumping up and down in joy. 

“Yes, my lemon, it is only a short way but I do not want to overwhelm you so I thought this was the perfect way to show off my horses, applebee and iHorse!” Glady stroked both horses proudly, before helping Mary enter the carriage. 

They smiled at each other and then they were off, off to their next adventure.


	3. Elevensies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glady takes Mary golfing.

The horse carriage ride was wonderful and even though Glady was still sneezing, he seemed to enjoy it too. 

“Will you tell me where we are going, my donkey?” Mary asked, leaning on his shoulders.

Glady just smiled mischievously. “Have patience, my ogre, we are almost there.” 

True to his word, only a minute later, they rode through a white picket gate and were suddenly in the middle of a giant golf course. Mary looked around but the usually very busy course was now empty. The only person there was a well tanned american guy with surfer hair and blue eyes who looked like he could dance and sing really well. 

“Porcupine, is that…” Mary asked, in shock and also not quite believing who was in front of her. 

“It is, camel. Say hello to Zac Efron!” Glady took her hand and led her to Zac Efron who bowed. 

“Sir, m’lady, it will be my greatest pleasure to assist you with golfing today” Zac said in a horrible British Accent. 

Mary giggled and hopped on to the golf cart, Glady right after her, and Zac drove them to the first hole. 

“Now, have you played golf before?” Zac asked Mary as he handed her one of the clubs from his bag and placed a ball on the ground. 

She shook her head and immediately felt a bit embarrassed when Glady gasped. 

“You have not? Oh my goodness, I am so incredibly sorry, my rabbit, I should have realized…” 

Mary was glad that Zac cut in and stopped Glady’s ramblings. 

“Do not worry, sir, I can teach her. I used to teach that in a movie once, so I am naturally perfect. If I may?” Zac pointed at Mary’s hips and looked at Glady, waiting for his permission to touch her.

Glady nodded.

“Is it alright if I touch you to show you the correct positions?” Zac asked Mary and when she nodded, he stood behind her and put his hands on her hips.

“So you put your right leg here and your left leg there,” he explained and Mary followed his instructions. 

“Very good! Keep that stance because that way, your legs won’t be in the way when you hit the ball.” 

Mary tried swinging when Zac stepped back and he looked at her. “That is a near perfect swing, if I might say so! You can try hitting the ball now, and try not hitting it too…” 

The rest of his sentence was lost for Mary had hit the ball perfectly and it landed right in the first hole.

“Oh look at that, weasel, I got it in!” Mary jumped excitedly and accepted Glady’s and Zac’s praise. 

When it was Glady’s turn, however, it took him about 37 tries to get the ball in the hole (not that Mary was counting). No one commented on it, for he already looked very ashamed, and they moved on to the next hole.

Unfortunately, luck was not on Glady’s side on that day for Mary got a hole-in-one once more and he had to try 26 times. It did not get much better at the remaining holes, and even Zac stopped praising Mary to make Glady feel better. 

At the Eighth Hole, where you had to get the ball across a small pond, Mary could not bear Glady’s disappointed face any longer. 

“You know what, my elephant? I am getting kind of hungry, why don’t we take a break and buy some food from the golf course shop?” 

Glady sighed. “But my gazelle, we just ate!” 

“We shall only get snacks then! Come on, my otter!” 

This time it was Mary who took Glady’s hand and she pulled him onto the golf car. “Zac, I am terribly sorry, but my sea lion and me are going to the golf course shop to buy some food now!” 

Mary shouted back at Zac and then they drove off. 

The small store was surprisingly well stocked, though mysteriously without a shop keeper. Glady shrugged when Mary looked at him questioningly. 

“I had him take a day off so we would truly be alone here.” 

Mary smiled and then began pulling random snacks from the shelves, including, but not limited to Cadbury caramel, Harry Potter shaped marshmallows, Pop Tarts and pizza flavoured cookies. 

They ignored the beeping of the door when they exited the shop and got back on the golf cart.

“Should we go back to Zac?” Mary asked, her hands already on the wheel. 

Glady looked to where they had come from and his eyes widened.

“I do not think he’s missing us very much!” He pointed to a small hill and Mary almost started to laugh. Zac was performing what looked like a dance routine on the hills, jumping and running around and seeming perfectly happy. 

“You are right, we should not disturb him!” Mary turned the car around and they drove off in a different direction until they came to another hill with a beautiful view of the golf course.

Glady took off his overcoat and put it on the ground. 

“I had not noticed you were wearing an overcoat, kitty!” Mary said, looking at the overcoat. 

“There are many things you do not notice, my labrador” Glady smirked as he laid out all the snacks they had brought and gestured for Mary to sit down with him.

Together, they opened all the packets and chocolates and looked over the golf course in peace. 

However, that peace was soon disturbed by Glady’s telephone ringing. 

“I am so sorry my mouse, I have to answer this, it is my secretary!” He apologized before answering.

Mary distracted herself with the food until Glady suddenly took her hands which made her look up again.

“My bunny, I am very sorry but we have to get back. A replacement for the waiter who quit today has just arrived and I have to interview him before we can let him join the team. Today has to be perfect for you and I cannot let anyone else ruin it.”

Mary nodded. “I understand, my badger, I would not want to keep you from your duties!” 

They packed up the remains of the impromptu picnic and got into the golf cart. 

“Lead the way, my lioness!” Glady shouted and Mary drove back to the library at full speed.


	4. Luncheon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary and Glady have luncheon and a new waiter arrives, but there is something weird about him, so Mary questions him in order to get some answers. But what will she find out?
> 
> Also, happy happy birthday <3

And then Glady led Mary into the elegant back room of the library, filled with all her favourite books. 

“Oh Glady!” Mary cried, “did you really get all my favourite books?” 

“Of course, my willow!” Glady answered, “There is nothing I would not do for you!” Mary blushed.

Then her gaze fell upon the table in the middle of the room. On it, there were two plates, beautifully decorated with blue police boxes and red bow ties. A breathtaking arrangement of daffodils stood in a giant chinese vase in the middle, and in front of it was a porcelain water boiler, plugged into the antique power outlet on the floor. 

Mary giggled as Glady led her to one of the chairs, pulled it out for her and then sat down on the other side of the table.

He clapped his hands and an extremely uncomfortable looking man in a too small suit walked in, bearing an almost creepy resemblance to Richard Armitage. He was carrying a silver tray with…

Mary gasped. “Oh my oak, you got me pot noodles for luncheon?” 

Glady nodded earnestly. “My dearest hazel, of course! Nothing, not even my personal chef Jamie Oliver’s gourmet food could ever compare to the rich and wonderful yet artificial flavours of pot noodles. How could I not serve them?”

“Why did you never tell me that Jamie Oliver was your personal chef?” Mary asked. 

Glady shrugged. “It just never came up and I don’t like to brag all the time…” 

The Richard Armitage Imitation set down the pot noodles on both of their plates and then poured water from a giant water bottle into the porcelain water boiler.

“Is everything to your liking, Sire?” He asked.

“Yes, thank you!” Glady nodded and smiled at him brilliantly. 

“Please do retreat to your position guarding the door and I will let you know when we need you again. The pot noodles now deserve our undivided attention.”

“Very good sire. Enjoy the noodles.” The Imitation said, glancing enviously at the pot noodles and then stood next to the door. 

A couple of minutes later, the water was boiled and both Mary and Glady had their pot noodles ready. Glady reached over and took Mary’s hand. Well, he barely even touched it since the table was so overcompensatingly huge but the gesture was there and they looked at each other lovingly. 

“In the words of so many famous poets including myself,” he said, “dig in, my pine!”

And thus, a wonderful luncheon began, for after so many exquisite but subtle flavours they had had in their previous meals, the pot noodles were a welcome change.

Although Mary’s entire attention was focussed on Glady, she couldn’t help but notice that the new waiter was not exactly a quiet one. 

“My cypress,” she whispered, “do you not think it weird that the waiter cannot seem to stand still?” 

Glady turned around and caught the waiter as he smoothed down the fabric of his shirt. 

“You are so right, my larch, how could I not see this!” Glady announced and then clapped his hands. 

Within seconds, the Richard Armitage Imitation was by his side and leaned down. “Can I be of service, sire?” 

Glady shook his head. “Not to me, but my lovely and wonderful Mary might have some questions for you!” 

Glady went back to eating his pot noodles and Mary put down her fork as the Imitation walked over to her. 

“I will gladly answer any questions you might have!” He said to her, but seemed slightly nervous. 

Mary laughed at his nervosity “Don’t worry, I am just curious. For example, just now you could not stand still, and all the other waiters never had a problem with that.” 

To punctuate that, she took some more pot noodles and was sad to see that the can was almost empty. 

“I…” The Imitation muttered, sheepishly glancing in Glady’s direction, “I wanted to be perfect for Will… um, Mr. Gladstone and I fear I might have been so nervous that I could not stop fidgeting.” 

Surprisingly enough, Glady looked up at that and smiled encouragingly. “You see, my mahogany, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.” 

“Oh Glady,” Mary said, “I was never worried, I was just curious, and if he is to stay on in your staff, we should know as much as possible about him! Don’t you agree, dearest Yew?”

“Of course my chestnut,” Glady looked at her lovingly. “I knew that you would be the perfect companion for me.” 

“Would Sire like more pot noodles?” The Imitation asked suddenly, pointing at Glady’s empty plate. 

“Oh, that is awfully kind of you to notice! Yes, I would love some more!” Glady nodded enthusiastically before looking at Mary’s empty plate. “However, I think Mary might want more as well, and her needs outweigh mine.” 

The Imitation blushed and turned towards Mary. 

“Do apologize my manners, sire. M’lady, could I bring you more pot noodles?” 

Mary could not help but smile. “It seems like you have not been a waiter for a very long time, I do not mind you not asking me first. But I am quite full and would prefer to leave some room for more food, so I will pass for now.” 

The Imitation bowed deeply before taking Glady’s plate and left the room, returning only seconds later with fresh pot noodles. He lingered and did not immediately return to his post by the door, so Mary, who was finished with eating and did not want to disturb Glady, turned towards him.

“So do you like pot noodles?” She asked.

The Imitation smiled. “I have not had the chance to taste them, but I would love to do so in the future. Do you know Sire’s favourite flavour? I do believe he has excellent taste and I am sure his favourite would be perfect for my first encounter with them.”

“Well, my dearest acacia loves the beef and tomato, which he is eating right now.” Mary answered and was about to ask another question when the Imitation spoke again.

“And, if you do not mind me asking, but are those beautiful daffodils M’lady’s preference or are they Sire’s favourites?” 

Mary looked at the daffodils. “Well, seeing as they are the national flower of Wales, I would say that me and my elm share a fondness for them.” 

The Imitation nodded, listening earnestly but in that moment, they were interrupted by Glady putting his fork down. 

“Thank you for this wonderful meal,” said Mary. 

“Oh, anything for you, my laurel!” Glady smiled and extended his hand to Mary, who took it eagerly. 

“But now let us go hence, I have something else to show you!”

 

Mary and Glady left the wonderful room, so focused on each other that they did not even notice the Imitation staring after them longingly.


	5. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glady has prepared lunch, a new visitor arrives and the Imitation behaves suspiciously...

Walking through the library on their way back from their luncheon, Glady pointed out several of his most prized possessions to Mary. He also showed her several hidden departments that could be activated by pulling certain books out and Mary was delighted.

“Oh, my ayu,” she cried, “this is all so magical!” 

Glady smiled, as he always did when Mary was happy. 

“Yes, it is rather wonderful, isn’t it, my codfish?” They rounded a corner and Mary suddenly stopped. 

“Is that what I think it is?” She asked, pointing towards a reading nook where the walls had been freshly painted with a beautiful green landscape. It did seem oddly familiar to her. 

“Yes, my marlin. I had the best artists from all of Wales come and paint the Shire, I thought it might be a nice place to relax for you.” 

Mary hugged him. “This is perfect, my dearest koi!” 

They stood there for a while, admiring the artistry, when they were suddenly interrupted by someone shouting Glady’s name. Only seconds later, the Imitation appeared, out of breath. 

“I-I-I am so t-terribly sorry t-to interrupt you,” he stammered when he noticed the intimate position. 

Glady blushed and withdrew from Mary’s embrace, leaving only their arms linked. 

“It is quite alright,” he said calmly and with a dazzling smile. “It is I who should be sorry.”

Then, he turned to Mary again and took her hands. “You see, my eel, lunch is waiting for us!”

Despite having had four meals already, Mary suddenly realized that she was hungry again and eagerly nodded. “In that case, lead the way, my hammerhead! I cannot wait to see what marvellous creation is waiting for us!” 

Together with the Imitation, Mary and Glady left the library. Just before they could walk through the big, wooden door, however, Glady stopped. 

“Would you mind closing your eyes, my salmon?” he asked. “I do want to surprise you and not spoil anything of the setup while we are walking towards it!” 

“Oh my blowfish,” said Mary, “I would do anything for you!” 

She closed her eyes and let herself be guided towards the entrance hall by Glady. A couple of minutes later, they stopped and Mary heard Glady whisper something, presumably to the Imitation. 

Footsteps indicated the Imitation leaving and then Glady took Mary’s hand once again. “You can now open your eyes, my clownfish!” 

Mary obliged and, upon opening her eyes, gasped. “Oh Glady, my wonderful anglerfish, you should not have!” 

The entrance hall had been transformed almost beyond recognition, into a scenery resembling a snowy Narnia. The walls were covered with white fabric and pictures of trees and bushes, and some real trees stood around and all the lamps had been replaced with lightbulbs in the shape of snowflakes. In the middle of the room, there was a street lamp and next to it, a small table. 

“This is so beautiful, my seahorse!” cried Mary as Glady led her towards the small table. 

“I am very glad that it is to your liking, dearest flounder!” Glady’s back straightened as it always did when he was complimented. When they sat down, a waiter in a beaver mask appeared and poured them both hot chocolate. 

“Where is our lovely waiter?” Mary asked, turning around to look for The Imitation. 

“Oh, he is in the kitchen,” answered Glady and suddenly smiled very fondly. “He wanted to help prepare our lunch. But do not worry, my starfish, he will be back with us shortly.” 

Just then, the big front door opened, and a man walked in. 

“Oh, that looks so different from the pictures on your website!” he exclaimed. 

Mary gasped. “Is that not…” 

But she did not get to finish her sentence for Glady had already gotten up and hurried towards the newcomer. 

“Dearest John Green,” he said as he arrived and shook the man’s hand with more force than necessary. “My sincerest apologies, I had completely forgotten that you had changed your arrival date at the last minute.” 

Then, Glady motioned for Mary to come stand next to him. 

“You see,” Glady explained, “this is my wonderful Mary and I have prepared a full day for her to show her how much I love her!” 

He then turned to Mary, who had arrived at Glady’s side. “My catfish, meet John Green. He is to be out writer in residence starting today!”

“Oh, I do know who he is, I loved The Fault in Our Stars!” Mary gushed as she shook John Green’s hand. 

“Thanks for that welcome! I am looking forward to my time in this beautiful library!”

Just in that moment, the waiter with the beaver mask, now without the beaver mask, appeared and took John Green’s suitcases. 

“We apologize for the inconvenience, sir” he said and bowed. “Follow me, please. I will show you to your rooms!” 

“That is so nice of you, thanks!” said John Green. “I will let you get back to your lunch now!” 

John Green smiled at them and then followed the waiter upstairs, while Glady and Mary returned to their table.

Just one second later, the Imitation appeared, in furry pants and without a shirt, carrying a tray with two steaming plates. 

Glady’s eyes widened but Mary did not notice because she was busy clapping her hands in joy. “Oh this is wonderful! Thank you, my shrimp, I have always wanted to have my lunch served by Mr Tumnus!” 

Glady cleared his throat. “I am very glad you like that, my sponge!” 

The Imitation kept his eyes fixed on Glady as he put down the two plates and Mary smiled as she saw their contents. 

“I do love Mac and Cheese!” she exclaimed and Glady finally looked back towards her. 

“You should know that these are handmade maccheroni and several kinds of cheese. You should ask out waited as to the exact number, my crab, for he helped my personal cook Jamie Oliver prepare this wonderful lunch.”

The Imitation blushed. “There are twenty three kinds of cheese, imported from local farmers. The bacon bits on top is from a farm in Hawarden and the breadcrumbs were provided by the local bakery.” He explained before slowly retreating. 

Then, Mary looked at Glady’s plate because something had caught her eye. 

“Do tell me, my sardine, is it just me or do the breadcrumbs and bacon bits form a heart on top of your maccheroni and cheese?” 

The Imitation almost tripped over his own feet and hurried outside of the room as Glady looked down on his plate. 

“I had not noticed but I do think it is a coincidence. What a pity that it was not on your plate, my octopus.” He laughed and took his fork, destroying the heart on his plate. 

Mary also took her first bite and moaned. “Oh my snapper, this is delicious!” They were truly the best maccheroni and cheese she had ever tasted. 

Only minutes later, both Glady and Mary were finished with their plates. 

They were in the middle of relaxing, both feeling the richness of the twenty three different kinds of cheese heavy in their stomachs, when a sound disturbed them. It was “Barbie Girl”, indicating that Glady had gotten a text message. 

Glady searched for his phone, finally retrieving it from the inner pocket of his fancy jacket and opened the text. 

“My dearest scedurfish, wonderful news! My cousin Poe is going to join us this afternoon and he will bring two friends!” 

“Oh,” cried Mary, “I have heard so much about your cousin Poe, my plankton! It will be wonderful to finally meet him!”

Glady looked at his watch. “However, dear jellyfish, there is some time until the proper time for afternoon tea. WOudl you therefore care to join me for an afternoon nap? I have instructed our waited to install a hammock between two shelves in the library, which would be a perfect place to rest and digest!” 

Mary nodded eagerly. “Lead the way, my cuttlefish!”

And together, Mary and Glady went back inside the library, where, sure enough, a hammock was waiting for them, and together they quickly fell asleep in order to be well rested for all the activities to follow.


	6. Afternoon Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New people arrive and they have afternoon tea, any Mary might have doubts about her and Glady...

Very relaxed from the nap, Mary and Glady woke up shortly past four o’ clock in the afternoon, facing each other in the hammock. 

“I hope you slept well, dearest dandelion!” Glady said and softly stroked Mary’s cheek. 

“It was wonderful and just what I needed. Thank you, daffodil!” Mary answered and then turned around to get up and stretch her limbs. 

However, when she turned around, she lost her balance and almost fell right on the floor, for the Imitation stood in the shadows, watching them. 

When he noticed her noticing him, he startled and came into the light from the nearby window. 

“I am so terribly sorry, I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable!” he said with an apologizing smile. 

Glady, who had turned around abruptly when hearing the unexpected voice, succeeded in making the hammock unsteady and both he and Mary landed on the floor. 

“Darling lily, are you alright?” Glady screamed, hurrying onto his feet because he had landed directly on Mary. 

The Imitation rushed to help her up and a guy with a big brush appeared and began to brush her clothes. 

“I am fine, don’t worry, rose!” Mary said and smiled at the guy with the big brush. 

Then, she turned to the Imitation. “Was there a reason for you being in here or were you just fulfilling your duties of taking care of us?” 

“I was actually coming to inform Sire that his cousin and his two friends will be here shortly. However, I did not want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful.” The Imitation blushed and looked to the ground in shame. 

“That is very kind of you,” Glady said and smiled. 

Then, the meaning of the Imitation’s words sank in. “Oh, but that means we do have to go and greet them!” 

He quickly checked both his and Mary’s clothes and, deeming them both perfect and spotless, he took her hand. 

“Come, darling daisy, we do not want to make our visitors wait!” 

Not yet running but walking in a very fast pace, they walked out of the library and back into the entrance hall, where all remnants of the Narnia-esque winter landscape had been removed. 

Just when Glady and Mary came to a halt in the middle of the hall, the big doors opened and three men walked in.

For a moment, they were merely silhouettes for the sun was shining brightly, but then, they took another step inside and Mary gasped and grabbed Glady’s arm. 

“Violet,” she whispered. “How could you not tell me who your cousin’s friends were?” 

Glady seemed a bit shocked as well and whispered back, “But sunflower, I did not know myself! My cousin merely said that he was bringing two friends!” 

Before he could go on, however, Glady’s cousin and the two other men had come too close to continue whispering and so Mary and Glady put on bright and excited smiles. 

“My dearest Poe, welcome to my library, it is so good to see you again!” Glady exclaimed, shaking Poe’s hand while continuously glancing towards the other two.

“Oh thank you, William,” Poe said, smiling. “And this must be your Mary!” 

He extended his hand to Mary who stood next to Glady nervously, anxiously awaiting to be introduced to Poe’s friends, and almost did not see Poe’s hand. 

“Yes, this is her!” Glady nudged Mary who finally saw Poe’s hand and shook it as well. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, I have heard so much about you from my amaryllis!” She smiled and then it was quiet for a moment before Poe realised that he was supposed to introduce his friends. 

“And I hope you do not mind that I brought my friends along. May I introduce Daniel Howell and Philip Lester!” 

Poe gestured towards the tall, awkward men who now shuffled forwards to stand next to him. 

“Oh we do not mind at all, dear cousin, I am merely a bit surprised because I had not known that you knew them!” Glady quickly said and then took a step forward to shake Dan and Phil’s hands. 

“Dearest Dan and Phil, welcome to my library, it is a pleasure having you here! And may I introduce my darling Mary!” Glady gestured towards Mary who giggled and shook Dan and Phil’s hands a bit longer than necessary. 

“Hello, it’s very nice to meet you!” said Dan, smiling at Mary. “I do hope we’re not imposing or anything, Poe said you wouldn’t mind.” 

“Like my peony said, we do not mind! It is always a pleasure having more company and meeting new people!” Mary was able to say without shaking too much. 

“We also brought you something to apologize for intruding!” Phil said and held out a plastic box full of what looked like homemade cookies. 

“Poe told us that you’d been planning a day full of meals and we thought we could contribute to it. They might not look like high-quality food, but…” 

Mary took the box excitedly and opened it. Phil was right, they did not look like made by professionals but rather like making them had been a lot of fun. 

She smiled and smelled the box. “They might not look their best but the smell is delicious!”

Phil smiled, obviously relieved. “Yes, they should, it’s a recipe by…”

“Delia Smith!” said Mary and Phil at the same time.

Then they looked up and saw the other three staring at them. Mary blushed and brought the box to Glady, feeling guilty that she had ignored him for so long. 

“Here, my freesia, smell the cookies, I cannot wait to taste them!” 

Glady took a sniff and his face lit up. “Oh they smell wonderful! It is just lucky that I did not instruct my personal chef Jamie Oliver to make treats to go with our tea, it is like I knew this was happening!” 

At that moment, the Imitation appeared next to Glady and whispered something in his ear. Even though he was standing very close to Glady, closer than necessary, Mary did not notice for she was talking animatedly with Phil about anime while Dan stood next to them awkwardly. 

Then, Glady clapped his hands. “Since I have already mentioned the tea, it should be no surprise that tea is waiting for us now! Please follow me!” 

He offered his arm to Mary who gladly took it and they led the small company up the stairs. 

On the first floor, they almost ran into John Green, who was coming out of a room and who smiled as he saw Dan and Phil. 

“Oh what a surprise!” he exclaimed. “I never expected to find you two here!” He shook hands with Dan and Phil and Glady clapped his hands excitedly. 

“Oh I had completely forgot that you know each other! Dearest John Green, you are cordially invited to join us for afternoon tea!” 

“That’s so kind of you, thanks!” John Green smiled and joined their party. 

Finally, they arrived on the top floor and Glady smiled mischievously as he opened a blue door. 

Mary gasped. “My crocus, this is absolutely perfect!” They were standing on the roof in what probably used to be a rooftop garden, but what now looked like a perfect replica of Sherlock Holmes’ living room, only with three walls missing. 

“My gerbera, I am so very glad you enjoy it!” Glady smiled and then gestured towards the sofa and the chairs.   
“Everyone, take a seat!” 

Poe sat down in the middle of the sofa while Dan and Phil took the comfy chairs and John Green sat down on a pillow on the ground. Glady and Mary took their places on both sides of Poe who had accidentally only left enough room on his sides for one person respectively. 

Therefore, Mary found herself sitting next to Phil but she did not mind one single bit since he was very thoughtful in making sure their conversation flowed naturally. 

When the Imitation brought their tea and a couple of plates for Dan and Phil’s cookies, he stayed and talked to Glady, but since Mary was occupied with Phil, and occasionally Dan, whenever he felt comfortable enough to join their conversation, she neither noticed nor minded. 

Once the tea, which had been refilled several times, and Dan and Phil’s cookies were gone, everyone got up and admired the detailed design of the rooftop garden, Mary fangirling with Dan and Phil. 

While talking with them, she found herself wondering how soft Phil’s hair felt and if it was weird that she preferred his smile to Glady’s. As soon as she realized that, however, she quickly excused herself and went back to Glady’s side, talking to him and Poe. 

When the Imitation, who had been absent for a couple of minutes, returned, Glady’s gaze immediately went to him and he nodded. Then, he raised his voice. 

“Since this tea has been such a tremendous fun time, I would like to invite you all to dinner as well! There should be enough for everyone and I am sure my darling hibiscus will not mind.” 

Mary shook her head encouragingly, excited at the prospect of spending more time with Phil, and walked back inside next to Glady. While walking, she secretly observed Glady and started to notice the grey hair, the wrinkles and the sounds his bones made when walking, seeming more prominent than ever before. 

And for the first time since arriving at the library, she found herself wondering about their future, and if a man 186 years older than her could permanently make her happy…


	7. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have Dinner, Glady is absent for a big part of it, and two newcomers reveal a shocking piece of information that might change the whole story!

They went back inside and all were very excited to see what Glady had planned next. He smiled mischievously and took Mary’s hand. 

“My creme egg, tell me, how has your day been so far?” 

Mary squeezed Glady’s hand. “Oh Jammie Dodger, it has been the best day of my entire life! And what a marvellous idea to invite Poe and his friends to join us for dinner!”

Glady glanced back to where Poe, Dan, Phil and John Green were walking. 

“You do seem to know Dan and Phil, I have been meaning to ask you,” he started, and Mary interrupted him, laughing. 

“You see, my marshmallow, Dan and Phil make YouTube videos and I have been a fan of them for years now!” She kissed his cheek. “Do not worry too much!”

Glady smiled relieved and straightened his back. “Well, I am not worrying a lot. Do not worry yourself.” 

Mary giggled. “You always find the right words, my gummy bear!” 

Just then, they arrived back in the entrance hall and turned left. The Imitation, who had not managed to get past Poe, Dan, Phil and John Green while on the staircase, now hurried through a big wooden door. 

“Poor Imitation,” said Mary, “he does look very stressed!” 

“Oh but he has done such a fabulous job and on such short notice!” Glady immediately defended him. 

“My pop tart, I did not mean to insult him, I merely meant that he might need a break on this stressful day!” Mary reassured him. 

“That is perhaps true,” Glady mused but did not finish his thoughts for they had arrived at the same wooden door the Imitation had just walked through. 

Glady cleared his throat. “Esteemed guests, beloved cookie!” 

Everyone’s attention was now on him. 

“Behind this door is the path to the location where our dinner has been prepared by my personal chef Jamie Oliver! But,” he paused dramatically, “I want you all to fully take in the first impression of the room, so I do have blindfolds for all of you!” 

Phil raised his hand. “Well, um, I’m actually pretty clumsy, so if there are stairs, I don’t think that would be a very good idea for me.” 

Glady shook his head. “No, there are no stairs. We will go down but…” he made another dramatic pause, “there’s a giant slide that has been built over the stairs!” 

There was general cheering, because everyone loves giant slides, and they all put on the blindfolds. 

“Now,” Glady announced, “I will go first to make sure everything is prepared and then you can come as well!” 

He opened the door and slid down the slide with little grace, but they soon heard his shout from downstairs. 

“Everything is ready!” 

Mary went first and landed on a very soft cushion. She struggled a bit to get up again, and so she was not fast enough and someone landed on top of her. Judging from the sound he made, it was Phil.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry!” He jumped out of the cushion and took off his blindfold, then he took Mary’s hand and helped her up as well. 

“Do not worry, I am not hurt! But thank you for your concern!” Mary said and then took off the blindfold, just as Dan landed on the cushion. 

“Oh my cupcake, this is beautiful!” She exclaimed as she saw the cellar room that looked like it had come straight from medieval or Arthurian times. Giant pieces of cloth depicting legendary scenes from legendary legends covered the stone walls, the tables were polished wood and there were candles everywhere.

Dan and Phil also made impressed noises, and Poe and John Green soon joined them. 

Glady grinned, pleased with everyone’s impressed expressions. They all sat down and drank some water, for it was very hot in the room. The impressive amount of candles paired with a low ceiling and no windows resulted in very hot temperatures and soon, everyone began to remove outer clothing. 

Only Glady was unable to remove any clothing since he was in a very fancy suit and removing anything would ruin the elegant image. He leaned closer to Mary. 

“My mars bar, will you please excuse me for a bit? I think I will change out of this suit because it is getting rather hot down here. If the food arrives, do not wait for me, I shall join you as soon as possible!” 

Mary nodded. “Take all the time you need, lemon sherbert!” 

Glady got up, excused himself and walked over to the Imitation. “My pumpkin pie has directed my focus on your exhaustion, which is why you are excused from helping at dinner. You may instead help me change upstairs.” 

The Imitation’s eyes lit up and he gleefully followed Glady out of the room. 

No one in the cellar particularly missed them for they were all occupied with each other. Phil and Mary were talking about their favourite medieval fairy tales and about ancient runes and the Great Vowel Shift. John Green had pulled out a notebook and was writing down a description of the room because he wanted to use it in an upcoming book. Poe P had let it slip that he had one experienced something incredibly embarrassing and Dan was trying to get him to tell that story. 

“Please,” he begged, “I need new video ideas that do not revolve around me being single and lonely and sad!” 

Luckily for Poe, the food arrived in that moment. Jamie Oliver himself did come and present it, and he seemed a bit disappointed that his lord and master, Glady, was still not back from changing. However, his enthusiasm earned him loud applause when he had finished and retreated to the kitchen. 

There was freshly caught fish, lightly fried, and with handmade chips arranged in the shape of a fish on the plate next to it. 

Jamie Oliver had also prepared kale and broccoli, because, as he had put it, “they are so nice and green and healthy”. 

They were all so busy with eating and talking that they never noticed how long Glady and the Imitation had already been gone. John Green was now interviewing waiters who came to fill their glasses, Dan was still trying to get Poe to tell his story and Mary and Phil were now actually flirting, but neither would ever admit to it because of Mary’s involvement with Glady. 

However, Mary was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to talk to Phil and found herself wishing that the man could stay at the library a little longer than just this evening. 

Finally, Glady and the Imitation came back, Glady in fashionable shorts and a loose fitting Ralph Lauren button-up and the Imitation in very tight pants and an even tighter T-Shirt that accentuated his muscles. 

No one commented on it for dessert had just been brought in, it was sponge cake and banoffee pie and everyone ate lots of dessert and talked some more. 

Soon afterwards, they went back upstairs to a terrace near the back of the library and far away from the creepy graveyard where a campfire had been built. Several lounge chairs and comfy cushion piles were placed strategically around it, far enough to not catch fire and close enough to catch the warmth. 

The shapes of the chairs and cushions were all in the shape of pokemon, and on every chair there was a pokemon trainer hat with everyone’s names on it. Happily, they all donned the hats and sat down. Mary found herself sitting next to Phil and Dan and they were soon discussing Pokemon Go and computer games. 

Suddenly, the nearby trees began to flutter and a sleek small cool black helicopter descended from the sky. It landed expertly on a patch of grass and turned off the blades because they were making a lot of noise and wind and were threatening to extinguish the campfire. 

Two women in very cool suits jumped out of the helicopter and made their way towards the group.

One had flaming red hair and wore combat boots, the other was slightly taller, had brown hair and wore a dark blue cape. No one spoke a word as they approached and when they arrived on the terrace, the crackling campfire provided the only noise. 

“We are incredibly sorry to interrupt,” said the red-haired woman. 

“But it is a matter of utmost important.” continued the brown-haired woman. “This is agent Chelena, trained in Russia and with kickass fighting skills.” She pointed at the red-haired woman, who nodded and then took over. 

“And this is my partner Mal Teser, an agent behind the scenes who loves candy themed puns but can’t come up with them herself.” 

Chelena and Mal Teser looked around to check if everyone had understood this very important information and then they turned towards the Imitation. 

Everyone’s heads followed them and Mary was shocked to find him sitting in the same lounge chair as Glady. 

“We are sorry.” Chelena said. 

“So, so sorry.” continued Mal Teser. 

“But," Chelena said, "you can’t remain here. Your cover is blown.”


	8. Supper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's chaos as people finally admit things, new bonds are formed and stories are told... True drama!

Previously... 

Chelena and Mal Teser looked around to check if everyone had understood this very important information and then they turned towards the Imitation. 

Everyone’s heads followed them and Mary was shocked to find him sitting in the same lounge chair as Glady. 

“We are sorry.” Chelena said. “So, so sorry.” continued Mal Teser. “But you can’t remain here. Your cover is blown.” 

 

The Imitation suddenly looked incredibly pale, even in the romantic light of the campfire and Glady stroked his back comfortingly. 

The rest of the party looked at each other because no one really understood what the two super cool agents had said. 

Mary, who had been silent and shocked for a very different reason, stood up and walked towards the two new arrivals. 

“Why did you not tell me you were coming here, this is such a surprise?” She exclaimed as she hugged both women. 

“We got the briefing during our flight here for several security reasons, and everyone knows that the use of cellphones is forbidden on helicopters,” Mal Teser said and rolled her eyes. 

“And then we thought it would be a nice surprise!” Chelena added and smiled.

Suddenly, someone cleared their throat behind them and the three turned around to find Phil sheepishly smiling at them. 

“I am so sorry to interrupt this reunion but I’m pretty sure the rest of us would like to know what is going on here, I’m starting to feel like I’m in an action movie!” 

He stood next to Mary and looked expectantly at Chelena and Mal Teser. But before they could explain anything, the Imitation stood up.

“No, I think I would rather explain myself.” 

He took off his waiter’s jacket and revealed a very expensive looking blazer underneath. “I am not an Imitation of Richard Armitage. I am in fact Richard Armitage!”

Everyone gasped but before they could properly react, Richard had continued speaking. 

“I was mobbed by fans after a movie premiere and while arrangements for going undercover for a couple of months were made, I had to hide somewhere else, so I came here. The original plan had been to stay only short hours, serve luncheon and leave, but…” here, he paused dramatically and looked directly into Glady’s eyes, who blushed at the intimacy of the moment.

“I never expected to find myself waiting on such a wonderful man and I could not bring myself to leave. Had I left earlier, my cover might not have been blown and I am incredibly sorry for the disruption of everyone’s evening.” 

Richard briefly smiled, relieved that his very long explanatory speech was over, and turned around to Chelena and Mal Teser. 

“I am ready to join you now, dearest agents.” 

Chelena and Mal Teser looked at each other. 

“We do have the time for you to say goodbye to everyone properly,” Mal Teser said. “And we apologize for having to come so suddenly, but your safety is of utmost importance.”

Richard nodded and walked towards where John Green and Poe P were sitting. 

Glady, who had looked down until now, seemingly deep in thoughts took a deep breath and looked at Mary who smiled understandingly.

“I do have to talk to my Glady,” she said to Phil as she took his hand and squeezed it. “I will be back presently.” 

“Do not take too long, Camembert,” Phil said with a grin. “I have heard whispers that supper is going to be here any minute!” 

When Mary stood in front of Glady, he took her arm and led her towards the library, out of earshot from everyone else. 

 

They were silent for several moments before Glady finally spoke. 

“My wonderful Mary. My marvellous, splendid, awesome Mary.”

“I know.” Mary said. “You will go with him.” 

Glady nodded with tears in his eyes. “I need you to understand that I still adore you and I would do everything to make you happy!” 

He took her hands and softly stroked them. 

"But I cannot ignore what Richard has done for me. Blowing his cover just to spend more time with me is so very admirable and I shall never leave his side from this day forth.” 

Mary nodded and barely held back her tears because she did not want to make this any harder for Glady. 

“I understand. I will miss you terribly but I do realize that this is something you have to do.” 

She gave him one last kiss on the cheek and they returned to join the others at the campfire. 

 

Richard had said goodbye to everyone, even the waiters with whom he had not even talked much, and was now waiting for Glady and Mary’s return. 

Mary arrived first and she hugged Richard before stepping back and standing next to Phil. 

However, while she had kept a respectable distance before, she was now standing so close that their hands continuously brushed against each other. 

Out of respect for Mary, Glady had only taken Richard’s hand after he announced that he was coming with him and waited to kiss him until they had safely sat down in the helicopter. 

Glady looked back at Mary one last time and then the pair ascended into the night sky. 

 

Only then did Mary realize that Chelena and Mal Teser were still standing near the campfire and walked up to them. 

“Not that I don’t appreciate you staying here, but don’t you have to go with him?” She asked.

“No not really.” Chelena shrugged. “There are enough agents available and people might have seen us get in the helicopter in London.” 

“Besides,” Mal Teser added, “there is a much bigger crisis here.” 

“Oh no, another crisis?” Mary looked around in panic but everything seemed to be normal. 

“We do have a duty to our best friend!” Chelena said. “Because she shouldn’t even start missing her 186 years older boyfriend when there’s a perfect guy right in front of her!” 

Mary blushed. “I don’t know, he is no nice and considerate, he won’t try anything tonight!” 

Mal Teser rolled her eyes. “Then you have to go talk to him! Come on, he might not stay here forever!” 

When Mary still hesitated, both Mal Teser and Chelena took her arms and led her over to where Phil was standing, talking to Dan. 

“Blue cheese!” Phil exclaimed. “I am so sorry about Glady.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” answered Mary, still hesitant. 

There was a bit of an awkward silence so Dan addressed Chelena and Mal Teser. 

“I suppose since no one has done that yet, thank you for coming here so quickly to warn Richard Armitage! And also, I love your names, agents Chelena and Mal Teser!” 

Before Dan could ramble on, however, Mal Teser stopped him. 

“Oh no. I cannot be Mal Teser anymore!” 

“But why?” asked Mary, who had taken up the courage to take Phil’s hand. 

“While I still totally love Maltesers,” Mal Teser announced, “I have overheard how Glady called Richard ‘my Malteser’ and made a suggestive comment about helping each other change out of clothes. This has to reference something that happened while Glady and Mary were still together, so I will no longer associate myself with a possible cheater and take up a new name.”

“That is very admirable, agent” Chelena said and took out a small computer. “Then hereby, I will erase your data as Mal Teser and replace it with your backup name KitKat, effective immediately!” 

“Thank you, agent!” KitKat said and smiled relieved. 

 

They were all interrupted by the doors to the library opening and Jamie Oliver stepping out to meet them, carrying a big basket.

Everyone cheered at the prospect of food and they sat down, with both Mary and Phil and Dan and KitKat sharing lounge chairs and Chelena joining John Green and Poe P. 

Jamie Oliver pulled out stick bread and ingredients for S’mores out of the basket and distributed it to everyone and they happily used the fire to make their supper themselves for once. 

They chit-chatted until the first of the stick breads was ready and then the air was filled with the sounds of everyone eating happily. 

John Green announced that he still had to film a short sequence for his next vlogbrothers video and went inside for a moment but no one really noticed his absence. 

Phil and Mary were now openly snuggling, extremely happy and talking about anime. 

Dan and KitKat were also sitting very close together and were talking animatedly about a huge variety of topics, seldomly giving opinions and often winking inappropriately.

Poe P, seeing the others so happy, turned to Chelena. 

“You know, I just got a text from Glady to inform me that I am now the owner of this library!” 

Chelena smiled politely. “That is very nice! I am sure you will find life out here very satisfying!”

“Oh I sure will!” Poe P announced before leaning a bit closer to Chelena. 

“To be honest, I am rather relieved to be able to leave the city behind. Something rather embarrassing has happened recently and I do not want to be reminded of it everywhere I go.”

This caught Chelena’s interest. “Oh I am sure it was not that embarrassing, I can assure you that I have heard worse!” 

Poe P shook his head. “I doubt that you have. Since my duty as owner of this library is to entertain my guests, I shall tell you my story!” 

Chelena leaned back with her newly finished plate of S’mores and prepared herself to listen to Poe P’s story.

 

Dan and KitKat had now started to finish each other’s sentences and were in awe of how much they resembled each other. 

“You know,” KitKat said, “I have never met a guy with whom I have so much in common. And as weird as it sounds, I am glad that Richard’s cover was blown.” 

Dan nodded. “I do agree.” He looked over at Phil and Mary and chuckled. “But I bet you’re not as glad as the two lovebirds over there!” 

KitKat followed his gaze and her eyes went wide. 

Phil and Mary were now closer than ever and were kissing, sometimes pausing for breath or to whisper cute things in one another’s ear, and they were radiating happiness. 

“Wow. They look so happy!” KitKat said. 

“Yeah…” Dan said slowly and then there was a spark in his eyes. “You know what?” 

“What?” asked KitKat, turning towards him once again. 

Dan grinned mischievously. “I bet that if you agree to go on a date with me, we will be even cuter than them!” 

KitKat raised her eyebrows. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

Dan shrugged. “It is if you say yes!”

KitKat smiled. “A date and a competition! How could I say no to that!” 

Happily, Dan took her hand and they started plotting how they could be even cuter than Phil and Mary.

 

Then, John Green came back outside and found Poe P with his face red like a tomato and Chelena trying her best to retain her totally awesome pokerface. 

“Have I missed a good joke?” He asked and Poe P stood up and sat down in the chair farthest away from everyone else. 

Chelena chuckled. “Well, he told me his most embarrassing story, but what is even more embarrassing is that I have already heard it!” 

John Green laughed. “Oh well, that is pretty tricky. But I’m sure he’ll come around, it can’t be that embarrassing!” 

This time, Chelena could not hold back a laugh. “If you knew the story, you wouldn’t think that anymore! But I doubt Poe P will tell the story again, the poor guy already had to endure it once!”

“Well, why don’t you tell it to me?” John Green suggested and got comfortable on his chair. 

“Oh, yes, I can do that!” Chelena sat up, very happy to get to be the one to tell a story to one of her favourite authors.

Five minutes later, loud laughter could be heard from their part of the campfire and John Green had to wipe tears of laughter away from his face. 

“You are narratively skilled, agent Chelena,” he said, “that was incredibly entertaining!”

 

However, no one noticed them as Phil and Mary were still busy kissing, Dan and KitKat were plotting and Poe P was sulking in his corner. 

They all only looked up when a waiter clapped his hands. 

“Even though dearest Glady has left us, there is still something left of this day and preparations had already been made. So will you please follow me, esteemed guests?” 

Everyone gathered their things and they got up and followed the waiter, who, sadly enough, did not resemble any celebrity, to a nearby terrace.


	9. Midnight Snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Glady is gone, he still has one last meal in store - complete with planning for the future, cool cameos and a LOT of cheesiness! Enjoy :)

When they all arrived at the terrace, Mary gasped and gripped Phil's hand.

"Oh this is so wonderful, do you see this, my star?" She said to him. 

Phil hugged her from behind and smiled. 

"Yes, it seems that Glady really liked you, my Jupiter."

They were standing in what looked like a scene straight out of a fairytale. The terrace floor was completely covered in fancy cushions and opened up to a meadow surrounded by trees, covered in fairy lights and having a twinkling contest with the stars.

"This is incredible!" Chelena said and John Green agreed. 

"He really outdid himself, this is a spectacular finale!" 

Dan, in an effort to be even cuter than Phil and Mary, picked up KitKat and carried her to the cushions. 

"Wow, this really is the best day ever!" KitKat said and smiled. 

At this moment waiters suddenly appeared and brought out covered silver plates. 

"Ladies and gentlemen," the head waiter announced, "as a special midnight treat for you all we have literally the entire menu from Nando's!"

KitKat, Chelena and Mary squealed in joy and everyone else also looked happy, so they helped themselves to butterfly chicken, succulent chicken breasts, sweet potato fries, potato mash and all the other delicious things from the best restaurant ever. 

For some reason, a lot of other people from the library had joined them, including zac Efron, three girls called Mary 2, Beth and Danielle, who appeared to be interns at the library and Joanne K Rowling, whose appearance no one really wanted to question. 

Poe P was the first one to get up and he approached Chelena. 

"Excuse me but would you mind teaching me some agent moves? I want to be able to defend my library, if word gets out that so many famous people come here. I have to protect them!"

Chelena looked at him and then shrugged, pushing several of the cushions aside to have a flat surface for her cool moves. Since most of the people were still too full to move, everyone was watching them. Poe P, who did not notice the many eyes following his every move, had completely forgotten and previous failures in martial arts classes, and even with Chelena's expertise, he was not very good. 

Chelena tried to make him look good, but especially compared to her own general awesomeness, he looked simply ridiculous. When he ended up kicking himself in the face while trying a very simple punch, there was general laughter once more, and Poe P fled into the library.

Mary and KitKat jumped up and raised the cocktail glasses, which had been brought out in the meantime, to Chelena and everyone cheered for her and her awesomeness as an agent. 

"Thank you everyone!" Chelena said. "Although, after this adventure, I kind of do you not want to go back to the boring agent job..."

"If I may interrupt," John Green said, "I might have a solution for your problem!" He took her arm and led her out of earshot. 

KitKat and Mary smiled at each other. 

"I am so happy for her!" Mary said. 

"Me too," KitKat agreed. "Although I have to say that I am pretty happy for you as well, Phil is great!" 

Speaking of me being great," Phil suddenly said from behind them, "can I talk to you for a bit, my dog star?" 

Mary blushed and nodded, so KitKat walked over to where Dan was sitting.

 

Phil led Mary to a pair of cushions near the end of the terrace and they sat down, immediately assuming snuggling position.

"This day has been so adventurous," Phil started, without much of a warning. "And I am sorry if I am being sudden, but I do not want this adventure to end. Especially my adventure with you, my galaxy."

Mary's heart beat a lot faster and she quickly nodded to give some kind of reaction to Phil's words.

Phil took a deep breath. "Basically, Glady has inspired me and I now finally know what I want to do. I want to open my own library!" 

Mary actually squealed, too happy to keep the noise in. "What a wonderful, wonderful idea, my supernova!" 

Phil held up his hand, indicating that there was more to come.

"But I do not know anything about libraries, so I am going to need some assistance. Do you maybe know someone who would be interested in running a library with me?" Here he smirked at Mary whose mouth was now open.

"Are you serious?" She asked, looking around to see if there were cameras. 

Phil shook his head. "No, I am not Sirius, I am Phil, you should know that!" 

Mary shoved him playfully. "As if you even have to ask. Of course I will come with you, my black hole. It would be the greatest adventure of all!"

Phil's smile was brighter than the fairy lights and he pressed a chaste kiss to Mary's lips. 

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that!" 

 

On the other end of the terrace, Chelena and John Green were standing next to a tree. 

"And you really mean that?" Chelena asked, not quite believing what she had just heard.

John Green nodded. "Yes. What you said about not wanting to go back to your agent job gave me this idea and it is getting more perfect the more I think about it!"

"You really want me to stay in the library and work on your new book with you?" Chelena repeated. 

"Yes, that is what I said," John Green laughed. "If you do not want to stay, I will understand that, but I would really like you to. Oh and what might be interesting to know, a friend of mine is going to visit me in about a month, and I would love to introduce you. You two would get on very well!" 

Chelena pretended to ponder the idea for a moment before shaking her head. 

"Why would you even think that I would actually decline such an offer?"

John Green smiled. "So that's a yes?"

"What do you think?" Chelena asked.

"Please can you say it? Consent is very important after all!"

Chelena rolled her eyes. "Yes, it is a yes. I will stay with you!" 

"Oh wonderful!" John Green actually clapped his hands. "So, let me quickly explain to you what I have planned for the book, and then you can start to think about it. The most spontaneous ideas are often the best ones!" 

He pulled out a small notebook and began to talk.

 

KitKat sighed and snuggled even closer to Dan on the cushions. 

"This night is so damn perfect," she said. "I do not think there is anything that could make it better!"

"Be careful what you say," Dan chuckled. "You never know what Glady has in store next!"

KitKat shook her head. "It is not only all the wonderful things he has organised. Look at everyone. They are so happy!"

"What about you?" Dan asked, looking down at her. 

"Oh, I'm alright." She grinned.

"So what are your plans for the future?" Dan asked. "Everyone else seems to be making them, what about you?"

KitKat frowned. "Well, I do like my Agent job but without Chelena, it will get boring very quickly... So I do not know yet."

Dan paused and took a deep breath before he spoke again. 

"Well, you could get a new partner. In fact, I have a suggestion, if you do not mind. He is horribly unfit, spends all of his free time on tumbler and has an existential crisis every now and again, but he would hopefully make you happy." 

KitKat sat up so she could look him directly in the eyes and put a hand on his cheek. 

"I would love nothing more." She said softly. 

They were about to lean in for a kiss when suddenly, there was smoke coming from the doors to the library and a mysterious spot focused on a figure with a guitar slung over his shoulders. 

As he came closer, they could make out more details, red hair, a plaid shirt and a very familiar face, and so they all worked together to clear the space for a dance floor in the middle of the cushions. 

 

"Hi," the newcomer said in his Britney-Spears-style microphone. "I am Ed Sheeran and it is an honour playing for you tonight!"

With these words, he played the first chords, and when everyone had paired off and looked at him expectantly, he began to sing.

When your legs don't work like they used to before  
And I can't sweep you off of your feet  
will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?  
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And darling I will be loving you till we're 70  
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23  
and I'm thinking bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways  
maybe just the touch of a hand  
well, me - I fall in love with you every single day  
and I just wanna tell you I am

Phil and Mary were not moving much, due to Phil's two left feet they wore more shifting from one foot to the other and watched the other couples. 

Joanne K Rowling, whose appearance had still not been questioned by anyone, danced with John Green; Chelena was expertly twirled around by a very very handsome waiter; library interns Mary 2, Beth and Danielle were not really dancing but rather watching Ed Sheeran; and Dan and KitKat were not paying attention to anyone around them, never letting go of each other and occasionally stealing kisses from each other's lips. Other couples had to navigate around them but Dan and KitKat did not care, and frankly, neither did the other couples.

After five songs, or maybe ten, they were interrupted by fireworks that suddenly started to bloom across the night sky. 

Someone had turned off all the lights and they ooh'd and ahh'd at the colourful display before them. 

After a couple of minutes, a staff member approached Mary and whispered in her ear. 

"I have a message from Glady: this is my last gift to you. Enjoy it, my sun."

She turned around to thank the man, but he had already disappeared, so she turned her attention back to the fireworks. 

KitKat began to hum Auld Lang Syne and most of the people laughed, but one by one they started to join in and kept it going until the last of the fireworks had gone off. 

It was quiet for a couple of moments but then everyone went back to the dance floor and Ed Sheeran continued playing. 

For a long time, Mary still stood there and looked up to the night sky. She was so deep in thoughts that she didn't even notice Phil walking up to her and was startled when he took her hand. 

"Do you miss him, my Pluto?" He asked.

"Of course I do, dearest comet," Mary replied. "But I do not miss him as much as I perhaps ought to. It just feels slightly weird being here, experiencing everything that he planned without him. He was a good man."

"Yes he was. But, darling Milky Way, I am quite certain that he would not want you to mourn him. Look at all this. Is it not the perfect end to a perfect day?"  
Here, Phil pointed at everything around them, the beautiful setup and Mary's friends from the library laughing with each other. The twinkling fairy lights. Dan and KitKat in a corner a bit separate from the rest of the group, being content to just be in each other's presence. Chelena and John Green talking animatedly and the writer had a small notebook in his hand, which was rapidly getting filled with scribbles and ideas. Poe P, who had come out again, introducing himself to the staff of his new home.

And then Phil pointed at himself.

"I mean, I wouldn't want to imply that I am perfect, but I would like to think that we're going to have a pretty swaggy time together, dear dwarf planet!"

Mary couldn't keep the grin off her face and she hugged Phil.

"Yes, my meteor. It shall be the swaggiest time ever!"

 

\-------- THE END --------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this is it, this is the end... For some reason, it was really hard to write this chapter, but then again, I don't do well with endings... Maybe that's why I am already planning a sequel! Yay sequels!  
> Also, for the fireworks scene, there is a song recommendation to get in the mood - wait that sounds weird, but whatever- it's Interrupted By Fireworks. It's a very beautiful song, so go listen to it! 
> 
> KitKat signing off, good night!


End file.
